How to calm yourself when anger rises

Most of the time, when anger rises, we still have to find ways to suppress it. The problem is that sometimes in the face of explosive tension, it is difficult to try to ease and create a relaxed environment, and if it is not done properly, it will backfire.

According to the data provided by the Ochsner Medical Center in New Orleans, the United States, when people encounter angry things, the heart rate will accelerate in 7 to 10 seconds. The acceleration of the heart rate is the most important performance and also an important factor affecting other reactions. The respiratory rate will also increase, blood will flow to muscles in large quantities, and blood pressure will rise, The body also starts to tense... then we will start to get angry - how can we calm ourselves at this time.

Psychologists have found several tactics to deal with anger. Of course, it may not take effect immediately. But if we use these methods more to deal with conflicts, or try to use these methods to communicate with people, when we are faced with sudden conflicts, these ordinary training may be effective.

Tactic 1: correct the misunderstanding

That is, we should control those irrational thoughts, which will lead to blurred images in our minds, make us lose our judgment and analytical ability, and make it easier to get angry with others. Common misunderstandings include: arbitrary, ignoring other positive factors due to one negative factor; "Overgeneralization" is to generalize a group of people with the characteristics of a person and expand the contradiction; Subjectively, measure the behavior of others from your own point of view. For example, if a colleague is late, you think he must be responsible for something, without considering the actual situation; "Drama patterning", no matter what the truth is, I believe that something will happen, directing life like a screenwriter; Labeling is to put a label on someone or something in advance, and the judgment on it is limited to this premise.

Tactic 2: listen patiently

Listen fully to others, including your physical performance: look into the eyes of the other person and follow the rhythm of the other person's speech, which can help you find the differences between you. Patience listening is to grasp the correct information. For example, if the other party is late for a very important date, and you angrily accuse the other party at the sight of him, the quarrel is likely to break out. If you give him a chance to explain, maybe the result will be different. From his point of view, maybe he met with special circumstances along the way, and was also anxious.

Tactic 3: Criticize artistically

Give constructive opinions to the other party, and ask for reality and accuracy, rather than "teach him a lesson". Talk about the matter as it is, don't digress from the subject, and don't draw a conclusion to the other party. You know, no one wants others to say to him, "You are such a person, you are hopeless". Tough suggestions often hurt others, making them resistant, unable to establish a dialogue, and even retaliate against the frustrated, while innocent people always think you are good to others, and they should be grateful.

Tactic 4: establish a non-antagonistic relationship

To avoid face-to-face conflict, try to communicate again after both parties calm down.