Decompression

Find your original intention and purpose, and work for yourself to be happy

  • Nov 05, 2024
Find your original intention and purpose, and work for yourself to be happy

A group of children frolicked in front of an old man's house, shouting loudly. After a few days, the old man couldn't stand it, so he tried to let them go. But instead of driving them away, the old man gave each child 25 yuan and said to them, "You make it very lively here. I think I am much younger, and I thank you for this money." The children were very happy, and came again the next day, playing as usual. The old man came out again and gave each child 15 yuan. He explained that he had no income and could only give so much this time. "15 yuan is OK," the child left happily. On the third day, the old man only gave 5 yuan to each child, and the children were furious: "Give 5 yuan a day, do you know how hard we work!" Then he turned and left, vowing never to play again.

Why did the child leave? It's all because their motivation to play has changed. There are two kinds of human motivation: internal motivation and external motivation. The former refers to that people do something because of their internal needs (such as love, desire, etc.). Doing something is a kind of happiness and reward in itself, and there is no other purpose; The latter refers to people doing things for some external results and rewards (such as status, money, etc.). If we act according to internal motives, we are our own masters; If it is external motivation that drives us, we are vulnerable to external factors and become its slaves. In this story, the old man's strategy is very simple. He changed the children's internal motivation "to play for their own happiness" into the external motivation "to play for money". He manipulated the factor of money, which also manipulated the children's behavior.

The main reason why a person can form an external evaluation system is that since childhood, parents like to control their children with verbal and material rewards and punishments, and do not care about their children's real thoughts. Over time, children forget their original motivation and care about external harvest and evaluation in everything they do: when they go to school, they forget their original intention of learning - curiosity and thirst for knowledge, and become only concerned about scores and rankings; After work, I forget the original intention of work - the happiness of growth and the realization of self-worth, and sometimes I feel happy and painful because of the boss's evaluation and the level of income. Once people take external conditions and evaluation as a guide to action, their emotions and willpower will easily fluctuate, and negative emotions such as dissatisfaction, injustice, and discontent will appear. In order to reduce their inner pain, people have to lower their expectations. The most common way is to reduce their efforts, muddle along, or even give up completely.

If you can't find the meaning and fun of your work gradually, you may want to reflect on whether you have tied the work and external rewards too tightly to forget your original intention and purpose. The happiness of work comes from the affirmation and desire of the heart. Carefully discover the fun and value of the work itself, and make learning and work become interesting things to "do for yourself".